Category: Joke Board
Rules for Dealing with Women
For thousands of years, men have tried to understand the rules when dealing with women. Finally, this merit/demerit guide will help you to understand just
how it works.
Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes
and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the points system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
* You make the bed…..+1
* You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows…..0
* You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets…..-1
* You leave the toilet seat up…..-5
* You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty…..0
* When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex…..-1
* When the Kleenex runs out you use the nex t bathroom…. ; -2
* You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings…..+5
* In the snow …..+8
* But return with beer…..-5
* And no liners…..-25
* You check out a suspicious noise at night…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing…..0
* You check out a suspicious noise and it is something…..+5
* You pummel it with a six iron…..+10
* It’s her cat…..-40
AT THE PARTY
* You stay by her side the entire party…..0
* You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old drinking buddy…..-2
* Named Tiffany…..-4
* Tiffany is a dancer…..-10
* With breast implants…..-18
HER BIRTHDAY
* You remember her birthday…..0
* You buy a card and flowers…..0
* You take her out to dinner…..0
* You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar…..+1
* Okay, it is a sports bar…..-2
* And it’s all-you-can-eat night…..-3
* It’s a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team .-10
A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
* Go with a pal…..0
* The pal is happily married…..+1
* The pal is single…..-7
* He drives a Ferrari…..-10
* With a personalized license plate (GR8NBED)…..-15
A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
* You take her to a movie…..+2
* You take her to a movie she likes…..+4
* You take her to a movie you hate…..+6
* You take her to a movie you like…..-2
* It’s called Death Cop III…..-3
* Which features Cyborgs that crush human skulls…..-9
* You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans…..-15
YOUR PHYSIQUE
* You develop a noticeable pot belly…..-15
* You develop a noticeable pot belly & exercise to get rid of it…..+10
* You develop a noticeable pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts…..-30
* You say, “It doesn’t matter, you have one too.”…..-800
THE BIG QUESTION
* She asks, “Does this dress make me look fat?”
* You hesitate in responding…..-10
* You reply, “Where?”…..-35
* You reply, “No, I think it’s your ass”…..-100
* Any other response…..-20
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
* You listen, displaying a concerned expression…..0
* You listen, for over 30 minutes…..+5
* You relate to her problem and share a similar experience…..+50
* Your mind wanders to sports and you suddenly hear her saying, “…well, what do you think I should do?”…..-100
* You have fallen asleep…..-200
IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH
* You talk…..-100
* You don’t talk…..-150
* You spend time with her……-200
* You don’t spend time with her…..-500
* You seem to be enjoying yourself..-1000
GAME OVER. YOU LOS
Other general rules
When we say we're cold, we just want to cuddle, not a blanket or for you to turn the heater up.
If you've made a suggestion and we don't reply, you should probably stop talking or change the subject. Silence of doom is never good.
Never refer to another girl, especially if you tell us you use to like her, but we're way better than she is...
heh,
I don't think I did to bad on the scoring system, but, then...well, nvm
Enough to turn a straight man gay? *giggle*
hahaha, well, call me a trater to the male instincts, but I'd actually choose to comply with most of the things on that list. I guess I'm just pretty sensative to a girls way of thinking.
I don't think it can be a fool proof list though... as I still fail to keep them happy. Sigh.
Yeah, this make sense, but I think it still depends on the person and how they deal with each other. This quiz made me laugh and wander. Some of it is true like for instance, the communication part, when she wants to talk about a problem and you have fallen asleep, that would really show that you don't want to listen to the problem. But some are good for a laugh like the one that talks about physiques.